I observe people. Seriously, it's what I do. All the time. OK maybe not all the time. But I do enjoy it. Not creepily though...
or at least I don't try to be. But lets face it, I probably am a total creeper-whose-not-actually-a-creeper. But you knew that already. I'm always out and about, at the city library, out on main streets, busing around, biking to town. So as you can probably imagine I see all sorts of differnt kinds of people all day. But I have accidental creeper syndrome when it comes to observing people. Actually, at this very moment, I'm sitting in the quiet room at the library typing this. Theres a woman at a table to the left of me diligently doing paperwork. She's not a teacher, she's too wealthily dressed to be so. She's obviously working on something more important. theres a ring on her left hand ring finger with a black stone in the middle of it. I bet she's engaged. The man next of her is obviously procrastiniating. He looks about 22 and he's holding a japanese comic book. He also has no idea someone knows what he's reading. hahahahahahah Oh I'm so bad. Next to him on the table is a textbook open to a page with a piece of lined paper sticking out of it. Basically meaning he was going to do some work, but now he's infatuatued with this his comic book. He's the immature "I don't want to be an adult" type. Next to his textbook is a cup of starbucks coffee. SO he went to starnucks around the corner before he came here. Ah, and theres always the mysterious old man. We can't forget him. He comes here quite often. He's currently reading a magazing on woodworking. He's probaby here because of his pesky old wife at home. He's like a future old man "Tim the Tool man Taylor". He always wears teh exact same blue ratty hat. interesting.
One thing that I notice a lot about people is that nobody observes me. Rather, nobody observes anyone quite nearly as much as I do. SOmetimes I wonder if theres an observer in my presence who is observing me at this very moment. tryign to figure out what I'm doing here,a nd what my story is. I wonder if they think I;m the shy type. Can they tell that I like music from the looks of me? do they know that I'm into the arts? or would they have guessed the complete opposite? It amuses me trying to figure out people's stories. There are so many different people, and to know that we all have something to do, somewhere to go, someone to be....
were all the same yet so so so different. It's strangers that interest me the most becuase of how mysterious they seem to me. I'm sure they arent thinking about being mysterious at all, theyre just going on about their normal lives.
I like stories. and theres a lot of them going on all around us. You've just got to watch carefully and maybe you'll find out.
everyone's favorite creeper,
-Zoe
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
What new, refinished dressors can do to a person.
As I'm sittingher in the Library, putting off work...
I'm thinking that life is starting to change for me. Things are slowly getting better. My life has always been rough, for me, for my family, especially for my parents. And I've got to admit, I probably would never be the same if I didn't have the friends that I love so much today. I doubt I would be as happy as I am. I grew Up thinking that my lfie was completely normal, knowing only what my parents had taught me. In a sense, it was normal. And I was happy, fo rthe most part. And I still am. But when I started to get a bit older, I noticed that that girl at school had 5 American Girl Dolls, or that that boy's house had much more things in it than I did. I would bring it up with my parents, telling them that I wanted what they had. I started to relize that I didn't have as much as some of my friends at school. It made me angry, and embarassed. I thought I was rolling in dirt for a house, and I began to think thatw hat I had was just simply not enough. And it only got worse as I got older. But, I was wrong.
AS the years go by, were fixing up those parts of the house that I grew up in that I felt most shameful about, and I know that things are changing.My mom recently got a job with another christian fellowship, and for my birthday this year they promised me a new re-done room. As I was up in my room last night, I was sanding and painting a dressor of mine, and as I stepped away, wiping the dust from my forehead, I saw my life changing before my eyes. I stood before a new, re-finished dressor, and saw the beatiful job that I had done. And I knew, that our house was changing. Surely, but slowly. Things are getting better, and I know it's because of God. I never ever gave up in him even through the worst times of these past few years.
And not to confuse, you, I never WAS rolling in dirt, or starving, but it was the little things that just didn't seem to suffice to this extravagant culture of today's America, that just made me feel like I was not as good as the rest of the world. It was the little things that made me feel like dirt...
but through hard times I have learned to love the things that I used to hate. I'm thankful that I have a bed....and a roof over my head. I have to remember that there are others that do not have nearly as much as I have, and that has inspired me to help those in need.
SO that's the story of my life. I feel now that I don't need to feel ashamed anymore, becuase I will always have people who love me for who I am. I know that God will never let me down, and that What I have now going for me is wonderful and will only get better. I don't need to keep my past a secret anymore. I don't need to feel ashamed about anything... ever. I know that I have an amazing life. I'm always going to be Zoe, though thick and thin
and I promise that those days of shame are over.
-Zoe
I'm thinking that life is starting to change for me. Things are slowly getting better. My life has always been rough, for me, for my family, especially for my parents. And I've got to admit, I probably would never be the same if I didn't have the friends that I love so much today. I doubt I would be as happy as I am. I grew Up thinking that my lfie was completely normal, knowing only what my parents had taught me. In a sense, it was normal. And I was happy, fo rthe most part. And I still am. But when I started to get a bit older, I noticed that that girl at school had 5 American Girl Dolls, or that that boy's house had much more things in it than I did. I would bring it up with my parents, telling them that I wanted what they had. I started to relize that I didn't have as much as some of my friends at school. It made me angry, and embarassed. I thought I was rolling in dirt for a house, and I began to think thatw hat I had was just simply not enough. And it only got worse as I got older. But, I was wrong.
AS the years go by, were fixing up those parts of the house that I grew up in that I felt most shameful about, and I know that things are changing.My mom recently got a job with another christian fellowship, and for my birthday this year they promised me a new re-done room. As I was up in my room last night, I was sanding and painting a dressor of mine, and as I stepped away, wiping the dust from my forehead, I saw my life changing before my eyes. I stood before a new, re-finished dressor, and saw the beatiful job that I had done. And I knew, that our house was changing. Surely, but slowly. Things are getting better, and I know it's because of God. I never ever gave up in him even through the worst times of these past few years.
And not to confuse, you, I never WAS rolling in dirt, or starving, but it was the little things that just didn't seem to suffice to this extravagant culture of today's America, that just made me feel like I was not as good as the rest of the world. It was the little things that made me feel like dirt...
but through hard times I have learned to love the things that I used to hate. I'm thankful that I have a bed....and a roof over my head. I have to remember that there are others that do not have nearly as much as I have, and that has inspired me to help those in need.
SO that's the story of my life. I feel now that I don't need to feel ashamed anymore, becuase I will always have people who love me for who I am. I know that God will never let me down, and that What I have now going for me is wonderful and will only get better. I don't need to keep my past a secret anymore. I don't need to feel ashamed about anything... ever. I know that I have an amazing life. I'm always going to be Zoe, though thick and thin
and I promise that those days of shame are over.
-Zoe
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
get to know me won't you?
Well, I've basically been making blogs, when It just popped into mind that you don't exactly know me. so how about you get to know me with a little survey? I love these things ;)
Full Name: Zoe( with these things .. above my e) whoselastnameshallnotbementioned
Nicknames: way too many to count
Birthplace: here.
DOB: October 27th
Hair Color: brown
Eye Color: greenish brown
Screenname: eh, you don't need to know ;)
Favorites...
Color: yellow, red, black
Movie(s): Im a huge movie fan, but lately I've really liked Garden State.
Song(s): wow. don't even ask. maybe I'll fill this out later.
Band(s): Sufjan Stevens, U2, snow patrol, Keane, The white stripes, The shins, Feist, Coldplay, Shiny Toy Guns, hellogoodbye, Death Cab for cutie, Relient K, The used, Rufus Wainwright, Maroon 5, The Beatles, Amy Winehouse, Ben Folds 5, Sixpence none the Richer, The Cranberries, The Police, This Providence, Oceans Above, Blink182, John Mayor, Iron and Wine, Red Car Wire, Mika, Nirvana, Matt Kearney, Regina Spektor, ....anddd I'm getting sick of this
Day of the year: ...my birthday?
Food: Icecream. (well that's obvious.)
Sport: Volleyball. But I odn't really like sports all that much
Store: eh, I dont really have a favorite store.
Actor: uhmm....wow I don't know. Will smith? he's pretty freakin awesome.
Actress: ohh i have no idea.
Vacation Spot: Ocean City New Jersey
Season: Fallish
Restaurant: spaghetti Warehouse.
Do you prefer...
coke/pepsi: Coke
chocolate/vanilla: Chocolate
dogs/cats: dogs. but cats are cool too.
1percent/2percent milk: hmm yeah I don't really like milk. :O
black/white: Black. no wait. black AND white together ;)
sing/dance: Sing
rock/rap: Rock.
Love stuff...
Are you single? Very :D
If so, do you have someone in mind? yes I do
Who? would'nt you like to know? :)
What personality traits do you look for in the opposite sex? A great personality.
What's the first thing you notice(physically) about them? hair or eyes. I like hair and eyes :D
Would you prefer a good or bad boy/girl? uhm a good boy that's not afraid to laugh and have a good time.
Have you kissed someone? hey I don't kiss and tell...XDD
Have you ever been in love? I'm not exactly sure.
Have you had your heart broken? basically.
Other stuff...
Have you gone skinny-dipping? of course!
Have you ever been out of the country? yes
Do you believe in god? Yes I do. He's basically the most amazing thing ever.
Do you believe in yourself? Sometimes. It's hard.
Do you want to get married? Yes, someday.
Do you play any sports? Used to play volleyball.
What was the last phone number you dialed? Veronica
Do you have a best friend? yes. a few!
Have you ever wanted to die? Who hasn't?
Have you seen someone die? no.
Have you gone swimming in an ocean? yes
Have you ever cried in public? yes
What is your worst fear? That a loved one will die
How long does it take you to shower? about 15 minutes
What was the last movie you saw in the theater? hmmm
What was the last movie you rented? Bella. hey that's a really good movie.
Do you have a favorite quote? oh man I always hear people say stuff that's hilarious and I forget to write it down.
Do you have any regrets?A few. Everyone has regrets, but what are you gonna do?
Full Name: Zoe( with these things .. above my e) whoselastnameshallnotbementioned
Nicknames: way too many to count
Birthplace: here.
DOB: October 27th
Hair Color: brown
Eye Color: greenish brown
Screenname: eh, you don't need to know ;)
Favorites...
Color: yellow, red, black
Movie(s): Im a huge movie fan, but lately I've really liked Garden State.
Song(s): wow. don't even ask. maybe I'll fill this out later.
Band(s): Sufjan Stevens, U2, snow patrol, Keane, The white stripes, The shins, Feist, Coldplay, Shiny Toy Guns, hellogoodbye, Death Cab for cutie, Relient K, The used, Rufus Wainwright, Maroon 5, The Beatles, Amy Winehouse, Ben Folds 5, Sixpence none the Richer, The Cranberries, The Police, This Providence, Oceans Above, Blink182, John Mayor, Iron and Wine, Red Car Wire, Mika, Nirvana, Matt Kearney, Regina Spektor, ....anddd I'm getting sick of this
Day of the year: ...my birthday?
Food: Icecream. (well that's obvious.)
Sport: Volleyball. But I odn't really like sports all that much
Store: eh, I dont really have a favorite store.
Actor: uhmm....wow I don't know. Will smith? he's pretty freakin awesome.
Actress: ohh i have no idea.
Vacation Spot: Ocean City New Jersey
Season: Fallish
Restaurant: spaghetti Warehouse.
Do you prefer...
coke/pepsi: Coke
chocolate/vanilla: Chocolate
dogs/cats: dogs. but cats are cool too.
1percent/2percent milk: hmm yeah I don't really like milk. :O
black/white: Black. no wait. black AND white together ;)
sing/dance: Sing
rock/rap: Rock.
Love stuff...
Are you single? Very :D
If so, do you have someone in mind? yes I do
Who? would'nt you like to know? :)
What personality traits do you look for in the opposite sex? A great personality.
What's the first thing you notice(physically) about them? hair or eyes. I like hair and eyes :D
Would you prefer a good or bad boy/girl? uhm a good boy that's not afraid to laugh and have a good time.
Have you kissed someone? hey I don't kiss and tell...XDD
Have you ever been in love? I'm not exactly sure.
Have you had your heart broken? basically.
Other stuff...
Have you gone skinny-dipping? of course!
Have you ever been out of the country? yes
Do you believe in god? Yes I do. He's basically the most amazing thing ever.
Do you believe in yourself? Sometimes. It's hard.
Do you want to get married? Yes, someday.
Do you play any sports? Used to play volleyball.
What was the last phone number you dialed? Veronica
Do you have a best friend? yes. a few!
Have you ever wanted to die? Who hasn't?
Have you seen someone die? no.
Have you gone swimming in an ocean? yes
Have you ever cried in public? yes
What is your worst fear? That a loved one will die
How long does it take you to shower? about 15 minutes
What was the last movie you saw in the theater? hmmm
What was the last movie you rented? Bella. hey that's a really good movie.
Do you have a favorite quote? oh man I always hear people say stuff that's hilarious and I forget to write it down.
Do you have any regrets?A few. Everyone has regrets, but what are you gonna do?
you wish you had a magical freezer.
Wow. Quite the night I had last night. I thought I had definately jinxed myself from the last post I had written. I thought a friend of mine was in a huge amount of trouble but wow, man I'm so releived to know everything is all good. What is the deal with internet hackers these days? I have had my share of them this year. Random hackers have been hacking me and my friends this year quite a few times. It's a true mystery to me, and none of us can figure it out. It used to really hurt me, the things that they were posting about me, but now I have understood that I don't need to care what they say becuase, they arent right. This year is so crazy...
and this is truly life as I know it. Sometimes I feel like no matter how much good I try and do in this world, I am always a target of huge messes. Things seem to screw up for me really often and I can't figure life out. All I know is that I have the best friends on the face of the earth and who knows where I would be without them.
* IF youve been following my blogs, chances are you already know about my encounters with my freezer. This morning I wanted my regular fix of icecream. I stumbled out of my bed and basically slepwalked ( slepwalked? is that even a word? ....) to the freezer. I opened the door only to be blasted with a cool breeze of icy air, and looking past all the frozen veggies and chicken breasts, THE ICECREAM DEPARTMENT WAS EMPTY. I was shocked. First time in months, I swear. I closed the freezer door and opened it again trying, thinkong maybe this time there would be icecream. (because hey, you never know. It IS a magical freezer). so anyways, that was depressing. I think by the time I get home tonight there will deinftaly be some icecream chillin there. That's gonna be good. dude. no. thats gonna be SO good.
On another totally ADD note, Im listening to Deathbed by Relient K and I'm in love with it. Their lyrics are always so great.
I think I might go dance around in some funky socks with some loud music.
ahh, life as she knows it indeed. Don't you wish you had funky socks?
-Zoe
and this is truly life as I know it. Sometimes I feel like no matter how much good I try and do in this world, I am always a target of huge messes. Things seem to screw up for me really often and I can't figure life out. All I know is that I have the best friends on the face of the earth and who knows where I would be without them.
* IF youve been following my blogs, chances are you already know about my encounters with my freezer. This morning I wanted my regular fix of icecream. I stumbled out of my bed and basically slepwalked ( slepwalked? is that even a word? ....) to the freezer. I opened the door only to be blasted with a cool breeze of icy air, and looking past all the frozen veggies and chicken breasts, THE ICECREAM DEPARTMENT WAS EMPTY. I was shocked. First time in months, I swear. I closed the freezer door and opened it again trying, thinkong maybe this time there would be icecream. (because hey, you never know. It IS a magical freezer). so anyways, that was depressing. I think by the time I get home tonight there will deinftaly be some icecream chillin there. That's gonna be good. dude. no. thats gonna be SO good.
On another totally ADD note, Im listening to Deathbed by Relient K and I'm in love with it. Their lyrics are always so great.
I think I might go dance around in some funky socks with some loud music.
ahh, life as she knows it indeed. Don't you wish you had funky socks?
-Zoe
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I told you I liked music...didn't I?
So, I woke up this morning, thinking it was the middle of the night. what goese on in my head? I literally thought, "wow man, the sun came up really freakin early this morning". Yeah, this is definately typico for me. On another totally random note (I like to do this a lot so whenever I start to say something really random, this will be my signal: *), I recently went to a Relient K concert that was in my home town, and I never really listened to them all that much, but after the concert, (which was absolutely AMAZING) I really started liking them a lot. Why is music so good? Sometimes I think about if I lived way back when, where Rock wasnt really around...like at all....or really any other kind of recorded music, I would proably be a really depressed person even though I wouldn't have known what I was missing. Sometimes I think about what the world would be like if we were still living like amish people...and I'm really glad I live in this generation. I mean, I definately think God placed me here for a reason, and I'm really glad I'm here.* I keep on meeting new people who I can just tell are going to be my really great friends. I don't really know what's going on, but it seems somethings changing, and it's going to be good. And the people that have been my friends all along are becoming closer with me, and it's really great. An elementary school friend of mine recently invited me to start coming to her youth group over the summer, and we started haning out again. which was awesome. And, I'm becoming friends with a lot of new people that I can just tell are going to be great friends. I've had these two amazing days in a row this week...and I don't want it to end. Sometimes it seems like just when everything is going really right, something goes crooked and screws everything up. Almost like Karma, I feel like because I'm really happy right now something totally sucky will like explode all over me and then I'll be stuck in this crap of a situation once again. ah, the mystery of life. All I have to say is, listen to music.
-Zoe
-Zoe
Monday, October 13, 2008
the start of a new begining
Here goese my first blog. I've wanted one of these for a while...or kinda needed one. Sometimes a girl's just gotta write. Chocolate can't fix everything (but almost). So. My life. My life's pretty...insane. And THAT my friends, is why I'm really looking forward to getting into blogging again. I used to blog through myspace, but eh...myspaceshmyspace...It wasn't exactly the right blogging atmosphere. I needed a real blog...a blog that was secluded from all the facebook/myspace madness..and really, I needed a new website to become obsessed with. And a blog is just what I needed. Lets hope I keep it up. I figured I needed kind of an introductory blog to start me off...so this means I should tell you a bit about myself eh? Me. wow. Ok seriously, where to even start? ok well, lests start with stuff I'll probably mension in blogs. Music. Music is a huge part of my life...Im basically obsessed. And I kind of talk about music a lot...my bad. Also Art, I love art. It's a hobby of mine. I love photography, sketching, (especially roses) and singing. I love comedy...I kinda have this crazy dream I play around withe very so often about being on SNL someday...hmm...just a thought. I'm not your average girl...ANd theres a lot to me that people don't know. Sometimes life is hard. But I get through with the help of God. He's been there through every horrible thing that has ever happened to me, and I don't know where I would be today without him. I'm going to blog about whatver I'm feeling about at the moment...and that may make me look like a loon, but if thats who I am. I love a good serious deep conversation. I make typos all the time...not because I can't spell, but because I type so fast and am way to lazy to go correct my mistakes, so let me apoligive in advance for all the typos that are probably all over this blog. I love chill people, and music talk. I used to underestimate insanity until I realized the amazing effect it takes on me. Being silly is also one of my signiatures. Not that I'm literally mentally insane...but you knew that, right? right. Well, it looks like you've witnessed my first rant. Get used to it ;).
-Zoe
-Zoe
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