Can't do this anymore.

I hate to do this, I mean I really do. I don't want to write an emo blog but I just really feel, so broken down right now. I just can't take the stress of my life any longer. I can't deal with living in this house anymore. I can't deal with having the father that I have. And I hate being the one who wants to make changes when no one else is able or willing to help me. I can't do this on my own. and trying to has stressed me out so much. I cannot believe how much I cry nowadays. I want to leave so much. I want to get out, get away, and not worry about fixing houses, having enough money, or being afraid to go outside for fear of being raped, kidnapped, mugged, or assaulted. I shoudlnt have to worry about any of those things. And to have to take on all of this at this age is making me want to run away so badly. I don't have any more tears left and I just want to say "hey, I'm done doing all of this for you until you step up and help me. im leaving and if YOU decide YOU ever need help, call me." Becuase I have done so much. I try to set up family meetings to say ok guys, let's make a change. And last monday, I did set one up. And I really felt god work in us. But there are STILL problems with my dad, and now my mom has tore her calf muscle and is unable to walk on it for 5 weeks. thus meaning she can't possibly help me move any closer to our goal of moving before august first. I know my dad wont help because he is completely opposed to moving. And I know my brother wont help because he was once this age too, trying to get things to change, but he too became too stressed out and couldnt take being the "adult" in the situation anymore, and now hes 19, and can do whatever he pleases. He stays away from this place as much as possible. He's found a way out of this. But I havent. And I'm stuck. But if I back out this hosue will never ever be fixed and I will never get out of this situation. Which makes me want to back out on all of it and just leave. I really want to just move in with some friends right now, and just tell my parents that if they want help ill come over to help. But this is too much for me. Way too much. Each day keeps on getting harder, and harder, and harder. And I hate it. I can't do this anymore and I don't know what to do. I want to fast forward through this all. To being older, in a nice home, one where I feel safe, one that isn't falling apart... a neighborhood with friends in it...a place where i feel like i'm at HOME. This is not my home. This is simply just the junkyard I come home to every day. And most of the time, I just make a joke about it. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to leave while an army of people come fix up my house for me, while dropping random money for us to buy a new place. I shouldnt have to live like this. No one should.

Im sorry for the typos.