So, I know. I kinda broke my promise aout daily blogging. I kinda sorta do that a lot. So I've been thinking lately..or rather just noticing about how I don't like to think. I like to feel. Thinking is too complex...and in my head, for some reason its like this unnescessary process, so I just go straight to "feel". I like to be outside, and feel the sun, feel the breeze, be within the outdoors....but I'm never really thinking..about anything. Doese that make me stupid? Am I too lazy to think? Sometimes, I really don't like myself. And I know that that's partially due to my depression, but I mean that's under controll. I just have a few minor symtoms here and there such as being super quiet, or...putting myself down. I don't mean for this blog to be completely trashing myself, but I kind of just want to put some stuff out there that I've been noticing about myself. I just feel like I'm like not talented at anything...like I have a bit of talent in a few thigns, but there are so many people around me that just seem to be AMAZING, and I'm just like super boring and not fun...
I hate the way that I dont think enough. Or at least I think I don't think/ Maybe I am thinking and I just don't know it...but I really wish I thought deep complex thoughts....I just notice the trees when Im walking, or how the clouds look. Im not thinking "ok, what do I need to do later?" or, "what's going on tomorrow?". And If i'm ever thinking anything at all, it's that Im thinking "my gosh I'm such a boring person, my thoughts are about nothing..."
But anyways, thats my random thoughts on today. I feel stupid. :(
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